I went to a Yin yoga class tonight at my new favorite studio, woo-woo. Imagine for a moment an aesthetically pleasing, minimalist, neutral yet textured sanctuary with thick, exposed wood beams, plants, and ever flowing cups of Smith tea in austere yet stunning ceramic cups. Some of you may wince reading that. It sounds very California, I know. But this studio is so sweetly Oregon. It’s Oregon with exceptionally good taste, and it’s a studio overflowing with sincere care.

Tonight it was my tear ducts that overflowed as I moved from one deep, stretchy position to another. You know when you land in a place you felt you needed, that you knew was a great idea, but then you arrive and realize, whoa, I really needed this. Life has been so good lately. I am happy, healthy, fulfilled, and truly excited for the road ahead. But today there was a short email exchange that hit and hurt and swerved in a way I didn’t expect, and those deep Yin postures were right there waiting to hold me through my processing time. A dark, cozy yoga room is a wonderful place to cry a little.

It was also on the yoga mat tonight that words began to come to me for this newsletter. Truthfully, only a vague outline of those first two paragraphs arrived, but all I need is a starting point and then the rest unfolds. That’s how writing goes for me. I sit down to write to you and to myself, not knowing what I am about to say. The words that land on the page are always a surprise.

While working today I made stock from a rotisserie chicken that had reached its final day, a frozen bag of vegetable trimmings, a couple of parmesan rinds, one dried chili, salt, and peppercorns. Dare I say this broth is my best yet? As I write, a mug of it sits to my left, and tomorrow or the next day the remaining eight cups will become chicken noodle soup. Oh, the quiet delight that can come from one rotisserie chicken and some scraps.

Minnesota is being terrorized, the people in charge of this country have no clue what true leadership is, the world is on fire, and most everyone I know is fighting against numbness. The atrocities, the horrors of the world, most of them preventable, are unimaginable yet chosen by humans who also have beating hearts. How?

I can’t solve those big problems, so I take my friend’s daughter to lunch and give her my love and attention. I simmer meatballs in red sauce and bake ginger cookies for two more friends. I have someone in mind to serve the chicken soup to, and this weekend I’ll host another friend and invite a few more over for dinner. All I know to do is cook for others. To give them a safe space where they feel nurtured. To listen and respond lovingly. To let them know that it is okay if their anxieties are loud or if they made some kind of mistake. It’s okay. We have love.

To myself, I offer care by not drinking alcohol this month and maybe next month too. I take myself to the gym and to yoga, cook wholesome, healthy meals, go to bed early(ish), and stay off Instagram. Lately, when I make a mistake, I tell myself that it is okay and that I forgive myself. I am laying down hurts that I have been carrying for years, releasing myself from them, so that I may carry more joy, peace, and ease.

I have nothing to offer this month outside of my words and a few images. No list of things to buy or links to things to read. Instead, I offer you an invitation to take a deep breath, maybe a walk, a social media break, or a Yin class at woo-woo. The world is hurting extra right now, and mean people are in charge. We need each other, and as much self compassion as we can muster. We need to embrace good things like chicken noodle soup, first kisses, tenderly saying “it’s okay, I’ve got you,” songs that move us, and conversations that bring laughter and expansion. Take care of your spirit, dear ones. It is trying to carry us.

(1st, 3rd and 4th image are of my dear friend, Rae. 2nd image is me, taken by her)

Thank you for being here. Thank you for being you.

With love, always,

Between Us is a gift from me to you, but if you are enjoying this newsletter and feel inclined to become a paid subscriber, you can do that here. xx

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Five weeks ago, I left Portland with oversized hopes, a loose vision of the life I wanted, and a morsel of a plan. If you’ve been following along, you already know I’m searching for a new home abroad; if you’re arriving fresh and curiosity is your thing, you can catch up here and here.

Now I’m writing from the air—somewhere between Barcelona and JFK—before flying on to Portland, where my best friend will scoop up my sleepy self from the airport. Leaving Spain gave me a small pang, but it’s softened by the knowing that I’ll be back, and by the excitement of returning to a Portland winter full of small rituals I love. I’m ready for a bit of holiday decorating, a quick burst of pottery-making, present wrapping, too many batches of cookies (Tahini Chocolate Chunk coming for you, Evan and Kim—and anyone else who messages me), time with friends, and a trip to Michigan for Christmas. Come January I am diving headfirst into a big design job, and prepping my house to sell in the spring. It’s a lot. It’s good. I’m heading into 2026 with momentum and a renewed spirit.

Those past five weeks are to thank for that renewal. My wandering took me to NYC, then up and down the coast of Spain, over to Italy for a few days, and eventually back to Girona and the Costa Brava.

Along the way, I kept asking myself what the hell I was doing with my life—an unsettling question for someone who’s rarely indecisive. I usually know what I want, and my intuition doesn’t whisper; it shouts. Yet as I burned through my savings and drove from town to town in search of “home,” every answer felt just out of reach. I had to loosen my grip, soften my expectations, and trust that clarity would find me when it was ready.

And it did, slowly. I realized I need to be near big trees. I love seeing mountains in the distance; they calm me, knowing a mountain day is only a few hours away. I want to be close to a major airport. I can’t imagine a life without a garden or a pottery studio. I want seasons. I want the sea. And politically, I need my home to reflect my values.

I searched inward, outward, everywhere. Clarity was dragging its feet. But two days before leaving Europe, the answer finally nudged its way in. I reserve the right to change my mind—of course I do—but right now, I believe my next home is somewhere in the Girona and Costa Brava region of Spain.

This newsletter runs long—and in reverse—but if you’re here for the journey, keep reading. The stories are waiting for you.

Banyoles, Spain — Restaurante Vivissim

A very special anchovy rests on an impeccably cut slice of smoked mantequilla butter, atop a perfectly toasted, skinny rectangle of brioche. Unfussy, thoughtful, perfect. I have two of these masterpieces, and if I pay attention I can get eight blow-your-mind bites from the plate, each one followed by a dry, tart, bitter sip of skin-contact wine. My sparkling water is poured over a single sculpted ice cube that rests on a thin round of lemon. Even a glass of water is an experience.

The owner, David, who is also the server, tastes me through four wines, translates the entire menu from Catalan to English, tells me the history of the butter, and names the friend responsible for those sublime anchovies. During this he takes a break to chat with another friend who has arrived with a tub of earthy, freshly foraged mushrooms. When David brings my pasta he explains why this particular noodle shape was chosen. After the meal he lifts Burundi coffee beans to my nose. The pulled espresso is fruity and smooth. I devour every last bite and sip, and every second of this gastronomic lesson. I could spend an entire day at Vivissim. Is this simply an incredible meal, or am I one step closer to home?

Girona, Spain

I take myself to luxurious, lingering lunches. In the mornings I drink coffee at home and eat yogurt with honey and nuts; at dinner I cook up some beans with spinach and olives to balance out the indulgences, and around sunset I’m often wandering the streets with a cup of mint and dark chocolate gelato in hand. I don’t really have the budget for this expensive palate of mine, but I can’t help myself. My only hope is to offset the grand lunches with the yoghurt and beans—and honestly, I recommend my method.

Girona — Restaurante Vintages

David of Vivissim sends me to Vintages. I order a ribeye because my body is craving red meat and because a ribeye is fucking delicious. The mantequilla, that famous smoked butter, compounded generously with fresh herbs, melts over the unctuous meat. Six rosemary potatoes dot the plate. My medium-bodied red is divine. The tiramisu, made by the owner’s wife and mother-in-law, might be the lightest and most perfect of my life.

I use Google Translate to tell my server about David. This leads to the owner, Ramon, coming out to chat. He is kind, warm. He tells me that if I move here I must learn some Catalan, and shares a simple tip: say Bon Dia to people you pass. He says it makes their ears perk up, and opens the door a little. Thank you David, thank you Ramon, and thank you to myself for taking baby steps toward a new life. I savor the last bite of tiramisu, sip the final drop of café, and type this sentence.

My Mind

Naively I thought I would update my entire website, design kitchens and bathrooms for an upcoming remodel, catch up on Instagram posting, and cross off half my to-do list while traveling. Wrong. So wrong.

Instead, every ounce of brain space goes towards figuring out what I’m doing with my life. My emotions have been all over the place. On one hand I’m sleeping well and feeling the happiest I have in a while. I can see a future of mild winters, of becoming a regular at places that nourish me, of new friendships. On the other hand I have moments of wondering what I’m doing here, how I ended up single and wandering the world in my forties in search of a home. Untethered by choice and by circumstance. I have worshipped freedom, and now sometimes that same freedom haunts me.

The days go on.

I spend them walking, reading, researching. I reconnect with an old acquaintance who invites me over for Thanksgiving dinner. His daughter makes name tags for all of us, which we tape to our chests; later she rearranges us for dessert. I could not have been more grateful for that kindness. From that dinner comes a new friend, Calvin, who I feel fortunate to have met.

I connect with an agent who represents home buyers in Spain and learn that homes in Girona are no less expensive than homes in Portland, which means that my current vision is not exactly possible. I try not to feel defeated. I remind myself of the Buddhist teaching that expectations lead to disappointment, and I begin reworking the plans my mind has crafted.

A late-night Google search tells me the exact climate I crave exists in Girona, Tuscany, and Sonoma—three places I already love. More late-night what-am-I-doing-with-my-life spiraling makes me consider Lucca, Italy. Plane and train tickets are booked, and now I’m typing this while on a train about five minutes outside Lucca. Pasta, walks, and real-estate searches await.

There is nothing like wandering the planet, looking for a place that feels like home.

Lucca, Italy

On my first full day in Lucca I follow the suggestion of my Airbnb host and head to a local’s restaurant that he recommends. Immediately upon walking in I recall that I’ve been here before. I see the seat where I sat in a cream colored sweater, red polka dot skirt and a regrettable black beret while recalling my sweet experience. The server had taken my photo which I begin to dig through my phone in search of. On that trip I was only in Lucca for a couple of days so the fact that I’ve landed back in this same restaurant is quite the coincidence. I can never decide if I believe in signs, but if today I do then this is an excellent sign.

Everyone greets each other with a strong, warm Buongiorno! and occasionally they greet me as well. I remember that, in Italy, I’m an oddity: a woman dining solo while reading a book. Multiple Italians have told me Italian women do not dine alone, and certainly not while happily reading. I don’t mind being the cause of their confusion. Maybe I’ll inspire a few women to relish this small, perfect freedom.

In two days I see four men carrying bouquets. I wish I could follow them—see where the flowers land.

Italy has my heart. Especially Tuscany. The passion, the beauty, the food, the wine, the landscape—the passion most of all.

The past few weeks have given me so much free time, yet my mind has rarely felt busier. It’s one thing to move across the U.S., but an entirely different undertaking to move across the world alone with a dream for the life you want. The logistics have to align; the soul has to say yes. Soul searching meets a lot of Google searching. I very rarely get headaches, yet I’ve had a tiny one almost every day recently. Maybe I just to need drink more water, but it feels like my brain is simply working overtime. The long walks and blissful meals are luxurious, yes, but they are also ways to get out of my head and into my heart. This decision requires all of me.

Firenze, Italy

I’ve spent six weeks in Florence over the past few years, enough to know the city well. These days I walk it with ease, stopping at my favorite restaurants, visiting my jewelry-making friend Ginevra, and recognizing this time around that Florence is my favorite city in the world. It isn’t my home, but it’s a place I hope to return to for as many years as I’m lucky.

Italy to Girona

Italy, I love you deeply, but a late-night Google search informs me that Italian law restricts IVF access to heterosexual couples, effectively banning single women and all non-hetero couples. WTF. Quickly and simply, Italy is cut from my list. Come on, Italy. Do better. The upside is clarity: I pack my bags and head back to Spain.

December 8th

My final day in Girona falls on my birthday. I wake up as a 44 year old, write in my journal, sip coffee, practice Spanish, and decide I want three things on this day:

1. To visit the sea.

2. To eat one last gelato.

3. To visit the nearby town of La Bisbal.

The day is beautiful from beginning to end. Simple. Perfect. Memorable.

On the day of my 44th birthday, I think I found my new home.

(thank you Calvin for capturing this moment)

Thank you all for being with me on this journey.

With love,

Between Us is a gift from me to you, but if you are enjoying this newsletter and feel inclined to become a paid subscriber, you can do that here. xx

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It’s been a personal discovery on this trip to realize that the words come whenever I’m in a town I feel connected to. It makes sense — inspiration stirs creativity. Now this connection to language has become a kind of compass as I travel and look for a possible home abroad. Do I write here? Do I feel creative? If the answer is yes, I stay a little longer, and when it’s no, I move on.

I have always written while traveling. Mostly to myself, sometimes to lovers, and now to you. I write to process, to understand myself, and then I share because it just feels right. There is an alchemy that happens when we release our creations into the world. I don’t pretend to understand the equation. Among my friends, I am one of the most introverted, yet I’ve always been the one willing to share my heart online. Not for feedback — just to let the pressure out. If any of it resonates, wonderful, but that has never been the point. I just have to say it.

In my early twenties, I started a blog called The Formless Within the Form and co-published an entire manifesto on relationships. I recall declaring that “marriage is bullshit” which swiftly elicited a riled up response from my partner’s married parents. Whoops. That manifesto is printed and waiting for me in a filing cabinet, and when I eventually re-read the earnest declarations of my twenty-four-year-old self, I’ll surely cringe. That young woman was naive, but god I love her for that, and I’m proud of her for every risk she took.

Jávea, Spain

The server, Luca, clears an outside table for me on a quiet side street. He lifts the wine list from its hook on the wall and props it near my seat. A dry white, please — whichever he recommends.

The couple beside me are from Switzerland. We fall into conversation, and they tell me about how Trump has imposed 39% tariffs on their country, how their government leaders traveled to the White House last week to offer gifts, flatter the ego of the narcissist in charge, and make a deal. “A businessman, but a terrible human,” they say of him. Until just last year this couple used to travel through America on motorcycle holidays, riding the open roads of Texas, Colorado, and California. Now they no longer dream of spending their free days in the good ole U.S. of A. When I tell them I think I want to move to Spain, they nod in full understanding.

The sun warms my back. Through the Echoes by Paolo Nutini floats from the speakers. I finish my Italian white and inhale the mingled scent of espresso and cigarette smoke drifting on the afternoon breeze. I’m reading about hollowing hen’s eggshells and torching peppers at the Michelin stared restaurant Per Se. I came to Spain in search of a new home, and while I haven’t found that yet, I’m certain now of this: food must always be part of my future. It’s the great through line of my life, the one I want to keep nurturing. That — and ceramics. I read about food during the day and watch videos of potters at night. I’m eager to sink my hands into clay again.

After my meal I head out to explore the town. While walking across round white stones at the waters edge and I think of how my mother used to search for smooth stones to run her thumb along as we walked the property where I grew up. I pick up a stone and carry it with me.

I sit in the sun with my gelato and think of Ash in San Pancho, raising her son Lio on her own in that small beach town. Maybe I’ll do the same someday, in a little town here.

A grandfather passes, holding the hand of his granddaughter in pink tulle. He points and chats in words I can’t understand but instinctively know are tender. I smile.

I like it here in Jávea, I really do, but I find myself missing miss big trees and the hush of a breathing forest. My best friend always says trees are her religion, and I feel nearly the same. Towering evergreens and all that deep, layered green ground me. Where is that place where the sun shines most of the year, yet the landscape stays lush? Am I asking for too much? No — I’m asking for exactly what I want.

Tossa de Mar, Spain

In Tossa de Mar, I feel unexpectedly at home walking through the farmers market. An older man drinks a full glass of rosé at 11:30 a.m. A mother leaves her stroller on the sidewalk while she ducks inside the fishmonger’s shop. A woman in head-to-toe leopard print strolls ahead of me, beside a friend in a full-length leopard-print faux-fur coat.

I like it here, though the population skews older. A tiny woman, four foot something with a gray ponytail, hands over cash for a six-pack of beer, chatting with the clerk. I stand in line with my fancy chocolate bar and the olive crackers I rely on to keep me satiated on long drives, and I find myself wanting to know her, even a little.

It’s raining, but I like the quiet it brings — empty streets, easy parking, and the triumph of having remembered to pack an umbrella for the possibly the first time ever in my life.

Cadaqués, Spain

In Cadaqués, I found a breathtaking seaside town where I’d love to have a second home, which is absolutely not helpful when I’m trying to choose a first home at a lower price point than the one I have in Portland. For better or worse (it’s been both), I am no stranger to dreaming big or falling for the shiniest thing on the path. I let myself be dazzled anyway, then remind myself to return to the real search at hand.

Cadaqués makes me want to paint everything I own indigo blue and white. Dried begonia petals skitter across the narrow walkways, bright and crisp like new tissue paper — a reminder that the holiday season isn’t far off. The biting wind pushes me into a touristy restaurant where I pay too much for a mediocre meal, but I don’t mind. Locals in their twenties to forties gather along the outside wall of a coffee shop, their faces raised towards the sun, cigarettes, beers, coffees in hand. The wall shields them from the icy wind, creating a warm little refuge. If I spoke Spanish, I’d slip into the group and join them.

Back in my car, I drive an hour and a half to another town. The sun is strong, and everything rooted in the earth bends in the gusts. Light dances across the blades of wispy grass. I turn on the twenty or so songs I’ve been looping all year, a playlist of my 2025 favorites.

Everything here in Spain feels sweeter, softer, easier. It’s been days since I’ve heard a car horn and I am sleeping better than I have in weeks. I don’t know where I’m going tomorrow, but does that matter? All we have is now.

With love,

Between Us is a gift from me to you, but if you are enjoying this newsletter and feel inclined to become a paid subscriber, you can do that here. xx

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It is my fifth morning here in Spain, searching for a new place to call home.

I keep imagining the life I hope to build: picking citrus from trees in my yard, pulling ceramic vessels from my kiln, pouring earthy-scented candle wax on a sunny morning while a cat I’ve adopted prowls the fence line. I can see myself delivering those ceramics and candles to a little neighborhood shop, chatting with the owner who has become a friend. I’ll invite her over for dinner and wine. My Spanish will still be choppy, but enough for simple conversation.

I have a list of 31 towns I’d like to explore. Today I’ll visit two or three of them and sleep in yet another. It doesn’t take long for me to know when a town isn’t right, and when I find myself in a place that could be the one, I eat a leisurely meal, drink some wine, and walk for hours.

My first Airbnb host, Karine, lived on a property outside of town that feels close to what I envision for myself. She’s warm and welcoming, French, moved to Spain as an adult, and wakes early to do tai chi and go for a swim in the ocean. My first landing felt like a good omen.

In the cute town of Sitges, people were sunbathing and surfing in November, determined to soak in every drop of sunlight even if it was a few degrees too cool. A couple was making out on the pier. Another sat quietly side by side, watching the water. I watched a man lift a woman off her feet to kiss her. My lunch there was grilled pork tenderloin resting on a charred pepper atop toasted bread, with a simple tuna, onion, and tomato salad and a glass of dry white wine. It was perfect.

In a small act of bravery and curiosity after the past six months of roaming solo, I downloaded Hinge to get a feel for the dating scene here. So far I’ve chatted with one singular person, but that mini conversation ended up shaping my entire travel day yesterday. His description of the town he lives in almost perfectly matched what I’m looking for — beach, mountains, gastronomy, quality of life, small but not too small, active — and it quickly became clear that the town where I was staying was not “the one”, so I drove forty kilometers south to Benicàssim. That handsome man from Hinge had recommended three restaurants for my day (breakfast, lunch, and dinner), and with a mission in hand, I arrived already a little enchanted with this new place.

At lunch I sat reading Kwame Onwuachi’s memoir, Notes From a Young Black Chef, fully immersed in his experience of learning to make consommé. The server came over to show me a plate of freshly caught fish, explaining how each one could be prepared. Then, after telling me all of her specials and seeing that I caught about 5% of what she said, she returned with a handwritten list so I could translate them. A cook emerged from the kitchen with a photo of the main special — a filet of beef — to help me visualize it. The entire interaction was above and beyond, from two people who seem to love what they are doing and clearly appreciate food.

With her assistance I placed my order, and when she brought the buttered bread she’d recommended, she held it to my nose so we could both inhale its freshly baked aroma. With enthusiasm, she did the same with the potatoes — lifting them to my face and fanning the scent towards me. My iphone snap doesn’t look like much, but believe me, those potatoes were truly unlike any potatoes I’ve ever had, and if I spoke better Spanish, I’d know exactly what was in that sauce.

After lunch I walked to the sea, sat in the warm breeze, and typed these notes into my phone. Am I tempted to move to a town I’ve only seen a few blocks of simply because a server encouraged me to breathe in the scent of my food? Absolutely. That, plus the fact that I’m within walking distance of both sea and mountains. Food and nature are the two quickest ways to my heart.

If I were you, I might wonder whether I met that Hinge man in person. I did not, as he wasn’t in town, but I think it all worked out perfectly. I sort of got to go on a date — arranged by someone I’ve never met and may never cross paths with. The tiniest toe dip into dating. Mission accomplished.

Final takeaway on Benicàssim: as much as it charmed me, I don’t love the layout of the town. There are many high-rise buildings obscuring the view of the water, every house is tucked behind a high metal gate, and many of the neighborhood restaurants sit along a busy road. Maybe that’s just how they do things here and I would adjust, or maybe I’m being too picky. Or maybe, since I’m choosing a new town to move my entire life to, this is exactly the time to be picky.

Now I am off toward Denia, but I’ll share a final thought before I hit the road. Over the past few days I’ve been thinking a lot about timidness and bravery. A lot of people have expressed the idea that I am brave for taking such a leap. The truth is, though, I’ve always been shy — painfully so as a child, less so now, but I still avoid a large number of human interactions. At the same time I am excessively motivated to live my life to the fullest, and that requires me to constantly push through fear. I’m not out here fearless; I never have been. I just force myself to endure the discomfort and do the things that scare me. The simple act of walking into a restaurant here takes courage, as I speak an embarrassingly tiny amount of Spanish. Hell, everything takes courage because I don’t know what I’m doing. Today I found myself driving in the bike lane, thinking it was a car lane (shoutout to Spain for having such wide bike lanes), and I caught myself just before a biker — who surely would have thought I was an asshole or an idiot — crossed my path.

I think my point is this: if you are able to, go live the life you want, even if it’s scary. Push through that fear and do it anyway. Many of the treasures in life live on the other side of fear.

A handful of links to some of my favorite things -

I am really loving this Toups & Co Unscented Tallow Balm. Daily I use it around my eyes, and often times I slather it on my entire face.

The MVPs of my trip so far are the wide leg linen pants from Everlane, these New Balance sneakers, and a simple white, cotton button down.

I also swear by these boots from Naturalizer, so much so that I have them in both brown and black. I love that they offer a wide option, and I use an insole to make them even more comfortable.

If you have boatloads of religious baggage like Jen Hatmaker and I do, then I think you’ll enjoy - or at least relate to - her book Awake.

That’s it for now. I think I’ll try to keep writing these notes from the road. They help me process what I am experiencing, and maybe you’d like to come along on the exploration.

Talk soon,

xoxo

Between Us is a gift from me to you, but if you are enjoying this newsletter and feel inclined to become a paid subscriber, you can do that here. xx

Subscribe now

(film image by Lexi Brenner)

Karen is out, Karina is in. Over the summe I filed paperwork with the courthouse to officially change my first name from Karen to Karina, and by September my passport read Karina Christina Pride. I was tired of the baggage that came with my old name, so I took a little skip over to Karina, and here we are. Gotta say, I’m really enjoying the change.

Up until this sweet, late October, it was a shaky year and some change. Starting in June of 2024, my world got rocked in a multitude of ways. Like, shaken-it-all-up snow globe style — a messy storm of chaos (that was still extremely beautiful much of the time). Now, the scene that is my life is settling in a way that looks familiar yet is rip with differences.

I’ve found it difficult to write here, wanting to find a balance between sharing my life and not saying too much. As an all-or-nothing type of person, I was struggling to find that cozy middle ground of words that felt right.

Still, my words today feel choppy, a little difficult to follow, but bear with me. Condensing big life living into little paragraphs isn’t my greatest skill, but here we are. Lately, I’ve been wondering if maybe the way forward is to send these newsletters more frequently but keep them shorter — a little essay about whatever’s on my mind that week. I think I might try that. We’ll see.

From Boulder, Utah

Currently, I’m writing you from a breathtaking property in Boulder, Utah. My friend’s best friend owns this house, and I was lucky enough to sleep here last night. One entire wall is made of floor to ceiling sliding glass doors that look out upon a mesa — beige and buttery yellow stone streaked with copper, dotted with small trees on top.

Soon my friend and I will go climb those rocks, and I’m hoping to convince her to strip down and make some nude photographs with me (update: she agreed). Skin and stone, existing together.

Last night, I stargazed from a very comfortable king-sized bed, and this morning I watched the sun rise while cozied up on a leather couch with my Americano, journal, and book nearby. I’ve been in Utah for five days — hiking, having long and loving conversations, and recharging after a full-speed-ahead summer and fall, as well as those larger sixteen months of shakiness.

Tomorrow morning I fly back to Portland bright and early. A couple of hours after I land, I’ll head to The UnTattoo Parlor, where I’ve decided to begin removing the large tattoos that cover my upper arms. Tomorrow is my second of many appointments.

I’ll have two busy weeks in Portland — wrapping up edits on three weddings and one session, making one more batch of pottery, delivering gifts to my wedding couples, cleaning gutters, putting away sprinklers, and painting a few window ledges before the winter rains arrive. It’s going to be a marathon.

Come early November, I’ll head to NYC and then onward to Spain and Portugal for a month to begin the search for the new place I hope to call home. More on that soon — maybe even weekly updates while I’m abroad.

It’s a season of change for me — a name change, a change to my physical body, and sometime next summer, a change in where I call home.

These changes feel right. I turn 44 in December, and I’ve decided this is the beginning of the second half of my life. When I’m feeling extra woo-woo, I think of it as a rebirth. Whatever it is, I am genuinely curious about what part two has in store for me.

(image by Natalie Gildersleeve)

I’ll mostly be taking a break from photography in 2026, first to work an interior design job from January through March, then to sell my house in April and (if all goes as planned) to move to Europe next summer.

That said, I do have availability for weddings, elopements, and sessions in the United States throughout May (with the exception of May 23rd), as well as the first or fourth weekend in August, along with some mid-week August openings.

If those dates happen to work for you, and you’d like to create together, please get in touch. I’d love to connect.

Get in Touch

A few fun links to some of my favorite things -

A friend gifted me HAVSNø Sea Salt, and I now believe we all need to keep a box of this “Snow of the Sea” in our kitchens. It also makes a lovely gift for the foodie in your life.

Even though our sunny days are dwindling, I still think this sun hat from Imogene & Willie is a fantastic investment.

The Face Pencil (a concealer stick) by Jones Road has become a staple in my makeup routine. I like to apply it using this brush.

Bronzer and contouring were never part of my makeup routine until now. I’m dipping my toe in with the creamy Bronze Balm by Merit Beauty, applied with this brush. I use just a little bit, but it gives me that perfect glow.

Turns out I’m in a new makeup mode lately, which led me to VIOLETTE_FR Lip Nectar in Pois de Senteur. It’s pretty and lasts a long time.

Following my breakup with a musician early in the summer, I had a hard time listening to all music for a couple of months. But then I watched American Symphony, which warmed my heart and brought music back into my life.

The documentary Will & Harper chronicles a cross-country road trip between Will Ferrell and his good friend Harper Steele, who had recently come out as a trans woman. Throughout the journey they learn about each other, have beautiful and sometimes difficult conversations, and share endless heartwarming moments. I believe Will & Harper is a must-watch for everyone.

I spend a lot of time editing photos, which means I spend a lot of time listening to podcasts. Lately, I’ve really been enjoying Amy Poehler’s fun interviews on the Good Hang podcast, and I never miss an episode of The Interview by The Daily.

Alison Roman’s Tiny Salty Chocolaty Cookies are the best thing I’ve baked lately — and they’re gluten-free without even trying.

Till next time, with love,

xoxo

Between Us is a gift from me to you, but if you are enjoying this newsletter and feel inclined to become a paid subscriber, you can do that here. xx

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Hey there. It’s been a bit. Life happened, and for two months I’ve been writing and rewriting the opening lines of this newsletter in my head. While I know I don’t owe the world the details of my personal life, I simply can’t figure out how to write Between Us without being utterly truthful. It’s the only way I know how to be. So, before we move on to Sicily, photography, a list of things I love, and everything else this Substack holds—here’s the news: my romantic partnership ended, abruptly, in May.

I didn’t see it coming. It left me gutted, heartbroken, and disoriented. For five weeks, I walked around in a state of tearful shock, fumbling through the days. Then one morning, thankfully, I turned a quiet corner and found myself on the slow trail of healing. I’ve been climbing steadily ever since—each day a little lighter. There was some rage that’s since dulled to a simmer; lately, I even find bits of gratitude in it all. The grief over what I thought the future would look like is giving way to curiosity about what could be. I’m still processing, but I’m doing well. Truly.

I’ve written and deleted endless paragraphs that tried to say more. Since I keep questioning those words, I figure it’s best to let my journal and close friends be the keepers of any further details, opinions, or pondering. Breakups suck, and this one was no exception—but I’ve got so much life ahead of me, and an empty runway ready to take me wherever I dream of going. Big plans, big shifts, and a whole lot of change are brewing, and I’ll share more as it all unfolds.

Now back to business. The fun kind :) Remember when I went to Sicily in May and said I’d share my full itinerary and recommendations? Of course you don’t—you have your own life to live. But I never strayed from that plan. And I’m telling you now, just in time to start scheming your own Spring 2026 escape to Sicily.

I’ve been spending a lot of time in Italy the past few years. Whenever I am there it feels like home. I’m obsessed with the food, the energy of the people, and I keep thinking about moving there, so I keep going back—to test the theory. With Sicily next on my Italy bucket list, I called up my soul sister of an aunt, Barb, and pitched a two-week road trip and farm stay loop around the island. As soon as she said yes, I started planning.

I wanted to stay at Agriturismos—working farms with lodging, often with meals included. Some are bare bones, others are decked out. I used the painfully outdated (and painfully slow) website agriturismo.it to book most of them. After many hours of research and emails sent into the void, we had a plan.

This is our itinerary, with notes so you can skip my mistakes and dive straight into the good stuff.

How to Get There -

Flights: You’ve got two main options: Catania or Palermo. We flew into Catania—smooth arrival—but fair warning: if Mt. Etna decides to erupt (which it regularly does), flights can get delayed or canceled. Still, I’d fly into Catania again. Your call.

Car Rental: I booked the cheapest car I could find through Discover Cars. The experience was fine, not great, but it cost only $302 for two weeks, so I made peace with the pains that come along with a budget rental company. Heads up—you’ll need an International Driver’s Permit (IDP). Yes, it feels like a scam. Yes, you still need one. Get it online ahead of time and print a copy. I forgot and ended up scrambling at the counter to get mine through this site, which did the trick, albeit stressfully.

Phone: I used AT&T’s international plan, which added up fast. If your phone is fully paid off, get an eSIM through Airalo. Way cheaper. Just as easy.

Business handled, we were off!

Stop 1: Fontana del Cherubino Turismo (near Catania)

Not to start off on a negative note, but don’t stay here. It wasn’t awful, but it felt tired and forgotten and they swapped our room out at the last minute to a room we would not have booked. The nearby towns were tiny and mostly restaurant-less. We still enjoyed ourselves—watching herds of goats and sheep block traffic was a highlight—but I wouldn’t send you here. If you’re in the area, stay closer to the coast or find an Agriturismo with an on-site restaurant.

Highlight: Mt. Etna. Definitely worth the visit. Bring hiking boots if you want to climb it.

Stop 2: Agriturismo Villa Flavia (near Pozzallo)

We adored our three nights here. We booked the Suite con Terrazza which was lovely—private balcony, garden views, pool, tennis court, and daily breakfast. Highly recommend. Only downside: the hot water rarely worked but I think it was just a glitch in the solar heating unit. Nevertheless, ask about hot water before you book.

Villa Flavia is also a great base for exploring southeast Sicily—Ragusa, Modica, Noto, Scicli, Ispica, Sampieri, Punta Cirica. We managed Noto and some beach time at Riserva di Vendicari. I also took a solo afternoon in Scicli—a gorgeous town full of artists and flowers

En Route from Catania to Pozallo: We stopped in the town of Ortygia. It’s incredible. Go there

.Stop 3: Agriturismo Casa Balata (Agrigento)

This was the splurge. Worth every cent. We stayed in the Dependence, a little stone house all to ourselves. The property is so stunning that we never made it into town. Dinner was a multi-course meal shared at a long table with guests from all over the world. There’s also a pebble-bottom pool that I’m still dreaming about.

On the way here, we stopped at Valley of the Temples. Do that. It’s impressive.

Stop 4: Tenuta Pizzolungo (near Erice and Trapani)

This was a rainy portion of our trip, but of course we still made the best of it. Prior to arriving at our Agriturismo we took the cable car up to Erice, which is beautiful and worth your time. The agriturismo itself was so-so. Pretty gardens. Comfortable enough. We laid low—played cards, watched a movie, drove into the cute town of Trapani for dinner. I’d explore this region again, but I’d find a different place to sleep.

Stop 5: Casa Migliaca (near Cefalù)

This was my favorite. Hands down. The gorgeous property sits along a, steep, winding road. Acres of olive trees, a wild yard. That soft, unruly kind of beauty I can’t get enough of. Dinner was served around an old olive press one night, and in the cozy kitchen the next—red checkered tablecloth, dappled light, simple food, warm conversation. We played cards. We soaked up the sun. I didn’t want to leave.

Last Stop: B&B Le Magnolia (Catania Airport)

We had a 6am flight home and stayed here the night before. It’s a 10-minute walk to the terminal—no taxis, no drama. Would stay again in a heartbeat.

And there you have it—Sicily. Go with an open mind, rent a car, get lost, get found. It’s a really special place that I think you’ll enjoy.

Please join me for an accessible pottery project at Ilwaco Artworks on the Washington Coast in late August where I will be leading a pottery workshop! Together we will build Berry Colanders. It’s going to be such a fun afternoon, and I’d love for you to be there.

I am writing you now from JFK airpot, feeling fully burnt out on travel and crowds and ready to hang out in the laidback PNW for the rest of the summer. That being said…

August - October
I am staying home! Let’s explore the PNW, shoot at the coast, hang in your backyard or hit a nearby trail. I am available for local shoots, weddings and elopements.

Nov 11-Dec 10
Spain and Portugal! I will be driving the entire coastline, and if we make a plan in advance for a shoot I will bring along my camera.

2026
Can’t believe I am writing this already, but 2026 wedding planning season is well underway. I’d love to work with you wherever you may be. Weddings in Colorado, Upstate NY and Maine will have reduced travel rates as I already plan to spend some time in that direction next summer. Northern California, Joshua Tree and Mexico could come with travel deals too.

Time between newsletters = more time to fall in love with things. Here’s what’s been doing it for me lately:

• Abercrombie Curve Love High Rise Loose Shorts – Bless every brand that has a curvy option. Without them I’d be pant-less.

• CRZ Yoga everything – Especially the 6” Butterluxe shorts and leggings. Just as good as Lululemon for half the price or less.

• Archie’s Arch Support Flip Flops – Instagram wore me down. They’re great. Walked 6 miles yesterday without a twinge.

• Alec’s Culture Cup in Mint Chocolate Cookie – Bought one box on sale. Regret not buying ten.

• This gazpacho – It’s the season. Make it.

• Best facial mud mask – I have tried a lot. This one wins.

• SkinMedica Retinol Complex 1.0 – I’m afraid that my esthetician might yell at me for this (hi Kim) but this retinol is life changing. I am warning you it is strong and you should probably start with 0.25 or 0.5 and slowly work your way up, but now that I’m on the 1.0 there’s no going back.

• Also in my skincare lineup: Prequel’s Multi Acid Milk Peel + Lucent-C Serum + Vanicream Moisturizer

• Target Weekender Duffle – Bought it in a pinch. Now I bring it everywhere.

More travel stuff I swear by:

• Monos Medium Suitcase - It’s gone everywhere with me for 3 years now, zero problems.

• TRTL Travel Pillow - Tried this out for my flight to Sicily. It’s a keeper.

• Footrest Hammock (yes really, for those long, long flights)

• Compression Socks (will forever be in my bag if the flight is over 6 hours)

WATCHING

• The Bear – Obviously. Season 4 was flawless.

• Shrinking - Casual, easy, yet oh so smart.

• Sirens - Julianne Moore is a goddess.

• Dying for Sex – Took me a min to get into it, but by the end I was hooked.

• Ransom Canyon – Look, it’s soapy, honestly not very good, but still I liked it. I was raised on the The Young & The Restless so I blame my mother for this one.

• We Live in Time – Gut punch.

• Lee – Powerful.

(double-exposure self-portrait on film)

That’s what I have for you today. Oh, and a wish—for you all to soak up every drop of summer. Life is beautiful, and even more so in August.

Till next time, with love,

xoxo

Between Us is a gift from me to you. I don’t know for sure, but I have a feeling that it will always be free. That being said, an inconsistent labor of love is still labor. If you are enjoying this newsletter and have the funds + feel inclined, I welcome your paid subscription. xx

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A few days ago, I was driving a huge van through Indiana. My beloved Apple Maps had routed me onto some secondary highways for a while. I was grateful to be off the freeways, instead navigating narrow, bumpy roads that made me feel more connected to the land around me. The country girl that forever remains a part of me was taking in every young calf and wildflower in sight, of which there were many.

Phillip sat in the passenger seat, typing away on his work things, while I gave myself over to the music in my headphones. Bon Iver. Then an old Patty Griffin record. Then Maggie Rogers’ Surrender. The sun was bouncing off fences, tall golden grasses, infrequent stop signs, and the occasional county house. My body moved as freely as it could behind a seatbelt and steering wheel, tapping out the beat on every surface around me. I fell into the moment. Like deep—in the raw, truthful, pure-as-it-gets kind of moment. Forty-six minutes of satori.

It was the summer of 2022 when I first devoured Surrender, while sporadically dating a tortured chef and cookbook author. I don’t even know if you could call it dating—we saw each other maybe five times in five months—but most of those dates were worth the wait. Each one was a story of its own.

This man, who conjured wizardry with the freshest ingredients, was a puzzle. A mystery. A question mark. But my god, his mind was beautiful, even if tangled in pain. Throughout our five dates and the quiet days in between, the number one thing I wondered was: Is he a good guy?

But that summer, as I wrestled with who he was and how I felt, I blasted Surrender in my windows-down Prius.
“Anywhere With You” and “Horses” were my anthems.

And I said, "Listen, oh, I know it's been a long, long year
But I think we should go and get you out of here”
I’ll go anywhere, anywhere with you
Pack up all your shit and put it in the back
Maybe the miles can make up for the things you lack
I’ll go anywhere, anywhere with you

—

I see horses running wild, I wish
I could feel like that for just a minute
Would you come with me, or would you resist?
Oh, could you just give in?

I thought maybe this messy, beautiful man was supposed to be my future. Maybe we were meant to be each other’s anchors in the chaos. I told myself I could do that—I could exist and even thrive beside his intensity and inside his brilliant mind. We’d be a team.
Me: his rock.
Him: my… what? Maybe a rock, too? No, probably not. But I would figure it out.

I talked it over with my friend Reema. She told me she was certain I could make any relationship work. But then she asked me something that stuck: Is this really where you want to place that energy?

So I kept listening to Surrender, and I let his workaholic drive and maddeningly gorgeous ideas fuel my own tendency toward obsession. I gave him so much of my mental space. He gave me what was left over. And after five months, he gave me a gift: a text that ended my yearning.

Where he is now, I don’t know. I hope his mind is lighter, but still full of beauty. Selfishly I hope he still thinks of me when he hears certain songs. And I really do hope—still—that he’s a good guy.

Last week, driving those Indiana backroads with Surrender in my ears from top to bottom, I decided to stop giving those words away.
This time, I gave them to myself.

This time, all that beautiful, intense, raw energy was for me.

I sang along and wondered: What would that summer have been like if I had kept that Surrender energy for myself, instead of offering it up so freely?
Hard to say.
We’re here now. And I’m so tired of giving it away.

The creative in me is begging for those surges of power. What could I make if I gave myself all of it—fully leaned into creation?

That’s the question I’m sitting with this week.

The person I will go anywhere with is me.

While I’m out there on the road, soaking up inspiration and leaning into my surroundings, maybe you want to join me for a photography session. Here is where to catch me in the coming months, when I’m not posted up in the PNW.

June 5–13, Michigan
Available for 1 to 2 shoots within 90-ish minutes of Holland.

July 10–11 or 16–17, Colorado
Open for up to 2 sessions on these dates near Denver or Steamboat Springs, or a wedding anywhere in Colorado the weekend of July 18.

July 23-34 & 27-28, New York City
Sessions, weddings and elopements. Let’s do it.

August 31–September 4, Oregon Coast
I’ll be at the Sou’wester Lodge for an artist teaching residency and would love to create some photographic art while near the ocean.

Let's Create Together

(images are all from the summer of 2022)

To be honest, it feels a little weird to share personal stories like this, but it also feels right. Typing and sharing the truth as an offering to the world, and to myself. Thanks for stewing in the wonder, the questions, and the weirdness of it all with me.

xoxo,

Get In Touch Here

I am writing to you from the sky. To my left, mountain peaks are silhouetted by the rising sun outside the airplane window. Each sip of my Stumptown Americano feels like a hug from home. I’m en route to Salt Lake City, where my dear friend Rae will scoop me from the airport. We’ll talk for hours over breakfast and maybe take a long walk. Around noon, Phillip will swing by in his tour van, after having driven 10 hours from Portland to Utah. I’ll take the wheel to give him a break, and we’ll begin our long yet swift journey to Bentonville, Arkansas. This will be my first time there. Phillip will be playing a festival, and afterward we’ll treat ourselves to an incredible dinner at his best friend’s restaurant, Atlas.

From Arkansas, we’ll head to Tennessee and stay in a cozy Airbnb in East Nashville, walking distance to good coffee and great eats. I’m excited about the freedom of wandering on foot while Phillip plays a few gigs around the city, and to carve out some time for work from various coffee shop “offices.”

Then it’s up to Wisconsin for a wedding, followed by a drive to Michigan where I’ll meet up with my Aunt Barb. From there, we’re off to Sicily. Yes, Sicily! Even though my bags are already packed for the adventure, it still hasn’t quite hit me that I’m just two weeks away from exploring a new-to-me island in my favorite country.

Barb and I will stay in five different Agriturismos over two weeks, taking day trips to a dozen or so towns. For those unfamiliar, Agriturismos are independently owned, farm-based accommodations that offer guests a chance to experience rural life while often times enjoying food and wine grown on the property. They range from rustic to luxurious. I picked spots that lean simple and earthy, while still being deeply comfortable. I am so excited to explore these farms and surrounding towns, and I’ll be posting daily updates over on Instagram. Expect a full Between Us. recap in June too, filled with all the details.

That’s what the month ahead looks like for me. It’s full of movement, change, adventure, and curiosity, and after a quiet few months close to home, I’m ready to take it all in.

Winter is the slow season for photographers, leaving lots of space for tending to other things. Personally, I’ve fallen headfirst into gardening. I had two raised beds built in our front yard and I planted all sorts of seeds as soon as the soil was ready. Watching tiny green sprouts emerge from the earth and begin to grow has been such a dopamine boost. As thrilled as I am for the coming weeks of travel, I also know I’ll miss my garden dearly.

On the business side, I’ve been taking an SEO course from the brilliant Catalina Jean and refocusing my photography work to center more on weddings. I love the depth that weddings allow. From the planning conversations to the energy of the day itself, I get to witness love unfold in its rawest and most honest form. A fast photographer I am not, but I am deliberate, observant, and deeply present which makes a wedding day of many hours the perfect setting for my style. The ability to pour that much attention into a single couple, a single story, really works for me, and I know that presence will leave its mark on the storied images that remain long after the celebration has ended.

My wedding season kicks off in late May at Blockhouse in Portland, and I can’t wait.

There’s still space on my calendar for last-minute weddings and elopements this year. If 2025 or 2026 might be your year to tie the knot, I’d be honored to be the one to help you tell that story. To receive my Wedding Info & Pricing Guide, you can inquire here.

And to families, parents-to-be, and individuals, I’m still here for you too. Your story matters just as much, and it would be a privilege to help you share it.

Let's Create Meaningful Art Together

In my free time, you’ll often find me with my hands in clay. If you’d like to get your hands in some clay too, please join me for an accessible pottery project at Ilwaco Artworks on the Washington Coast in August where I will be leading a pottery workshop! Together we will build Berry Colanders. It’s going to be such a fun afternoon, and I’d love for you to be there.

Michigan and Colorado friends, I am coming your way and I have some space in my schedule for a few shoots while I’m there. Also, I’ll be at the Oregon Coast for a week in late summer, which means PNW folks can book a coastal shoot at the price of a local shoot (saving you $150). Take a peek at my travel dates below and let me know if you’d like to make some art together!

June 5–13, Michigan
Available for 1 to 2 shoots within 90-ish minutes of Holland.

July 10–11 or 16–17, Colorado
Open for up to 4 sessions on these dates near Denver or Steamboat Springs, or a wedding anywhere in Colorado the weekend of July 18.

August 31–September 4, Oregon Coast
I’ll be at the Sou’wester Lodge for an artist teaching residency and would love to create some photographic art while near the ocean.

Not many links this month, as I’m trying to shop less, but here are a couple gems -

These red flats by Naturalizer are coming with me on every trip this spring and summer. Practical and cute.

I’m not usually a lipstick person, but with a few weddings coming up, I decided to branch out. I’m loving this Gloss Bomb in High'Biscus by Fenty.

For Portland folks, I highly recommend that you make a dinner reservation at L’Orange. The best seat in the house is at the counter, especially if you chat a little with the staff. Trust me on this.

Watching - Shrinking. Big thanks to Sam Griggs for suggesting this show as my next big watch. Phillip and I are only 3 or 4 episodes in, but we’re excited for every opportunity to cozy up for an episode.

(images of me are by Natalie Gildersleeve)

That’s it for now. As alway, thank you so much for reading. I appreciate you sharing a bit of your time with me, and I hope that you find yourself cuddling the spring blooms sometime soon.

With love,

xoxo

Get In Touch Here

Hi there. It has been a while and I apologize for skipping a month of communication here at Between Us.. but I’m happy to be back. I’ve missed it here! A little disclaimer: although the first two paragraphs of this email start off a bit hefty, I promise that we find levity quickly. I really need the sunshine right now and I know that you do too! I hope that this email adds a little brightness to your day. xo

Last weekend while on a walk with a friend she and I were talking about how we felt these days. I landed on the word “stalled” and she quickly nodded. Yes, stalled. Not broken, but we agreed that over the winter our internal engines had most definitely been feeling overloaded, which often led us both to a somewhat numb or stalled feeling.

With the state of the world as it is, and a current administration that seems dead set on dismantling empathy, it is no wonder that we are regularly feeling the pain. There is just so much to process. What to do and how to respond are the questions that I have been asking myself. While I don’t have any grand answers, this internal questioning has led to some personal re-evaluation of my habits and intentions, which has in turn prompted me to implement some little life changes. These personal shifts all feel small, but they are working wonders for me. I am calling this list The Little Things. Maybe one of my ideas will be helpful to you as well as we navigate our messy world together.

• Grace. I am giving myself grace. I am allowing myself to move at the pace that feels good in my soul, which for me means slowing everything down a couple of notches.

• Joy. I am leaning into joy and all of the little things that add to my happiness. My joy is part of my protest and nobody is allowed to dampen my enthusiasm.

• Gardening. I have made a commitment to grow a portion of my own food this year. I hired a friend to build some garden beds in my front yard and I can’t wait to fill in those bed with seeds and starts from my neighborhood garden shop.

• Shopping Small. As much as possible, large corporations will no longer receive my dollars. I am determined to be better at shopping with intention while supporting small and local businesses.

• Lessoning Waste. I am doing my best to minimize waste in my home. For me that mostly means using up beauty products before buying new ones, and trying hard to not let any food rot in the fridge. Also, I recently signed up for Ridwell which lowers the trash output of my household.

• Intentional Clothing Purchases. When it comes to dressing myself, I am really loving Nuuly. I like fashion and having new items in my closet, but I want to be a more thoughtful consumer. Nuuly delivers new-to-me, pre-worn pieces to my house each month. I get to wear these items for a month and then if I really love a piece, I purchase it. Until my budget allows me to shop solely from small makers, Nuuly feels like a great stepping stone.

• Social Media Breaks. I regularly take Instagram breaks. On days when I don’t really need to be on the app I just delete it. To nobody’s surprise, those are my best days.

• Prioritizing Close Relationships. I am leaning hard into prioritizing the relationships that are closest to my heart. This means lots of creative and walking dates with friends, trying my best to stop work early enough to make a thoughtful dinner for Phillip and I, planning a two week trip to Sicily with my Aunt, and spending ten days at a beach house with my mother this summer. Our time is precious, and if we don’t take control of our days then life will have it’s way with us. I am choosing intentional living, loving boundaries, and saying yes to the things that really matter.

Those are my Little Things, some of which are really are the Big Things. If you feel inclined to share, I’d love to hear what you are doing to thrive during this challenging time. It’s crazy out there, and think that we can all benefit from from sharing our ideas and supporting one another.

Leave a comment

Y’all, my online pottery shop is newly updated! Check it out here!

If you’d like another way to shop, take a peek at my Instagram Stories today, March 11th for some discounted pieces. I have been experimenting with new designs lately. A few of those experiments went really well and will soon become mainstay designs in my pottery business, but the test pieces that weren’t home runs are still quite cute so I am selling them for a discount, today only, on Instagram.

Also, if you’d like to try your hand at an accessible pottery project, join me at Ilwaco Artworks on the Washington Coast in August for a pottery workshop! Together we will build Berry Colanders. It’s going to be such a fun afternoon, and I’d love for you to be there.

Over the past five years, my photography business has grown from a seedling hobby into a blooming business. My summer weekends are filling in with weddings and I couldn’t be more excited to document the massive love that these couples have for one another. From the beaches of Northern Oregon to the mountains of Colorado and beyond, I’ll be there, immersed in the moment.

I still have a few weekends available for 2025 weddings, and I am actively booking 2026. If you are considering reaching out about a wedding in 2026, now is a GREAT time to do so in order to lock in my current pricing. You’ll get to check that item off of your to-do list while saving a solid chunk of cash. Send me a message here if you’d like to talk about getting on my calendar this year or next.

Here’s a little glance at the two elopements and one intimate wedding at I recently photographed.

Get In Touch Here

A few fun links to some of my new favorite things -

Gaba Ease has me sleeping deep and dreaming well.

KS&CO Clear Strong Hold Brow Gel locks my brows into place without any of that annoying flakiness or residue.

I recently discovered this lovely Portland made whisk at Wellspent Market. I think that it would make a great gift and a perfect addition to every kitchen.

This Moft Phone Tripod Stand has made it much easier to film little pottery making videos.

Since there are a lot of new faces here, I’m going to let you all in on my (previously shared) holy quintet of sleep accessories. The Lunya Sleep Mask, Loop Ear Plugs, Weleda Skin Food, Fatco Lip Balm and the above mentioned Gaba Ease. It’s all a bit much, I know, I know. Judge if you shall. I’ll be dreaming :)

DuoLingo. Currently I am on a 70 day streak of learning Italian. Every morning, it’s me and my coffee, sitting by the front window practicing Italian. Maybe you’re studying a language as well and want to be friends? Find me there under the name @karinapride.

Listening to: The Telepathy Tapes. The stories in this podcast are blowing my mind while simultaneously reinforcing my belief that we are all connected.

Watching: Severance and season 3 of The White Lotus (as is everyone else I know). The White Lotus is like candy, but Severance — Whoa! Phillip and I watched season 1 earlier this winter, and now we plan our nights around a new episode. If you haven’t yet jumped on the Severance train, I can’t recommend it enough. (You miiiiight have to struggle through the first couple of episodes, but I promise it won’t be long before you are hooked)!

Reading: Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause Look, I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but here I am, in this odd space between young and old. They call it “middle-age” but ugh I’m not into that label. Anyway, I blinked and all of my friends who are over 40 have started talking about menopause. I’m right there with them, ingesting and sharing articles, books, personal experiences and podcasts on perimenopause, while simultaneously working towards having a baby. WTF?!? I don’t know, but this book has been helpful.

That’s it for now. I hope that this spring finds you all making lots of space to enjoy the little things.

With love,

xoxo

(Image by Wild Hare Films.)

Hello everyone. I hope that this newsletter finds you as well as can be, maybe with a warm, comforting cup of tea in your hands or fresh off a phone call with a loved one. Like everyone around me, I have been devastated by the Los Angeles fires. After 20 years on the west coast, L.A. has grown to be a part of my life. The destruction is massive, and I find it difficult to know what I can do that will make a difference, but I keeping coming back to this quote.

With that motto in mind, I am choosing to donate to one family from this list of GoFundMe verified fundraisers of people affected by the recent wildfires. Our individual actions may feel tiny, but collectively we can make a massive difference in the lives of others.

It has felt really great to get back to my ceramics practice on a regular basis. I am thrilled to share with you the latest stock update to my ceramics shop. Check it out here!

For PDX locals, you may use the code PORTLAND to eliminate all shipping costs and instead opt to pick up your items at my studio in inner NE Portland.

In December I debuted my new Print Shop. I feel that each image in this shop tells a story steeped in texture and emotion, clawing at the soul and drawing the eye. These are the type of images that I want to surround myself with.

Over the past couple of years I have fallen hard for my Holga camera, especially when it is loaded with black & white film. I decided to turn 10 of my favorite Holga images in a set of greeting cards; a vessel for sharing art and the written word. There are ten 5in x 5in cards in each set. Envelopes included, blank inside, printed locally on 100# cover card stock.

Holga Film Art Cards

This winter finds me solidly based in the PNW with plenty of space for cozy, in-home shoots. Think soft winter light, candles, textured knits, steaming mugs of tea… Soulful portraiture, maternity, newborn and couples shoots would all be lovely in this setting.

I am also booking for 2025 and 2026 weddings and elopements, along with spring, summer and fall shoots of all kinds in the year ahead. Together, let’s make something special.

Get In Touch Here

A few fun links to some of my new favorite things -

Found! My new favorite t-shirt. It is lightweight, soft and hugs in all of the right places.

These fleece lined tights fit like a dream and allow me to wear a short skirt even on the coldest of days.

Most styling products weigh down my fine curls, but not Innersense leave in conditioner. I get bouncy curls without the icky feeling of product in my hair.

The Paul McCartney photography exhibition is showing at the Portland Art Museum for one more week (through Jan 19th)! I loved it big time.

On most Wednesday nights you can find me, smiling and sweaty, on the dance floor at Pivot’s Momentum Dance Class in NE Portland.

It’s a splurge, but the Moccamaster coffee maker has become a necessity in our household. Usually I am a pour over gal, but the Moccamaster does a damn fine job at making coffee for two or more people.

Watching - Phillip and I just finished The Queen’s Gambit. This show is probably old news to most of you, but if not, it’s worth a watch!

I also loved A Complete Unknown, and I can’t stop thinking about the film Babygirl which I saw yesterday with my best friend.

Listening - to the book, The Message, by Ta-Nehisi Coates.

Reading - Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

(Image by Wild Hare Films.)

That’s it for now. Thank you so much for reading.

With love,

xoxo

Happy New Year!

Last night I rang in the year at home with a group of close friends. We had handmade pasta (made by the pasta king, my boyfriend Phillip), homemade marinara and meatballs, salad, homemade focaccia, chocolate cake with whipped cream, wine, a roaring fire, a puzzle going on the dining room table, water colors in the living room and great music. I am still basking in the lovely sweetness of the night. If you’d like a see a glimpse of our evening, take a peek here.

Also, please remind me to share my gluten-free Olive Oil Chocolate Cake recipe with you in the future! I would link my focaccia recipe but honestly I’m still on the hunt for the best one. If you already know the best focaccia recipe and you’d like to pass it along I’d be forever grateful!

While it may seem like I came here to chat food, I actually showed up to share with you my More/Less list for 2025. Every late December I begin to think about what I want more of in the year ahead, and what I want less of. I spend a week or two letting the thoughts slowly simmer, then somewhere near January 1st I compile my final list, hand writing it out twice. One time for my journal and then on a second sheet of paper that I can easily refer back to throughout the year ahead. While this practice is quite simple, it is also extremely powerful. The act of avoiding quantification of how much more or how much less allows me to not fail at this exercise. My goal is simply more or less, and with that gentle goal I typically succeed. Some items return to the list time and time again (hello “less phone”) but often, come December, I am very pleasantly surprised by how I was able to shape my life for the better by doing this exercise.

Without further ado is my More/Less list for 2025 -

Give a listen to the audio version above if you’d like to hear a bit more about each of these items. To be honest I am a little too sleepy from my party to type it all out, but I’m pretty good at chatting to you in a voice message.

If you decide to give this exercise a try AND want to share, please drop a message in the comment section. I’d love to hear your More/Less intentions for the year ahead.

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That’s it for today, but I’ll be back next week with a shop update and list of items that I am loving lately. Till then, love on yourself and each other. It is pretty damn miraculous that we get to be here, living wildly on this magnificent planet.

Cheers,

Karen

The wonderful thing about growing older is the wisdom that we gain with each passing year. Just over a week ago I turned 43. I am firmly in middle age now, with a whole lot of life, work, business and relationship experience (and fumbles) under my belt. I thought that it would be a fun exercise to write down 43 lessons that I have learned in my 43 wild years on this beautiful planet. Indeed, it was quite fun (and insightful) to see what my stream of consciousness writing presented me with! Shortly after sharing this list of lessons in last week’s Substack post, I started to think about making a voice recording of my list, where I could add personal stories and context to each lesson.

So here we are, my first voice memo via Substack. 42:44 minutes of me sharing wisdom that I have earned through trial, error and a lot of living. Maybe you’ll find it fun to listen to, maybe it will resonate, maybe you’ll be inspired to make your own list. (If you do, I would love to read it!)

As alway, thank you for being here. Your presence is so very appreciated.

43 lessons that I have learned in 43 years.

1. Don’t take things personally. Very rarely does someone’s poor attitude or offbeat remark have much to do with you.

2. Don’t make assumptions.

3. Expectations lead to disappointment. Allow the moment to naturally unfold without expectation and you will avoid disappointment.

4. A long walk will solve most problems.

5. The trees, mountains and oceans are all problem solving goddesses. Go to them. They will help you find the answers that already exist within you.

6. Kindness is the most important quality in a partner.

7. There is no substitute for sleep. Prioritize it.

8. For the most part, you can make your own rules. Just because something is usually done a certain way does not mean that it is the best way for you.

9. It is more than okay to change.

10. Not all friendships are meant to last forever.

11. Ill fitting shoes will fuck up your feet. Our feet should not hurt in shoes!

12. Wear merino wool underwear on long flights.

13. There is no perfect diet. Every body is different, and our bodies change over time. Learning to listen to the current needs of your body is one of the best things we can do for our health.

14. Movement is medicine.

15. Deal with family issues early on or you will work them out in bad relationships and that’s gonna suck.

16. It is okay to wash your hair every day.

17. Yes, you should wear sunscreen on your face every day.

18. Nobody is thinking about you anywhere near as much as they are thinking about themselves.

19. Be yourself. Be yourself. Be yourself. Be yourself. Be yourself.

20. Just because you are bendy enough to put your toes on your shoulders in your 20s and early 30s doesn’t mean you should. It will fuck up your back for the rest of your life.

21. Start an investment account very early in life. Even if you can only invest $25 a month, do it. Your future self will thank you.

22. It is a beautiful thing to have friends of varying ages. Older and younger.

23. Every day is a new beginning.

24. Every day is all we have. Now is all we have. The future does not yet exist.

25. The little things are the big things. Be unapologetically enthused! This world is full of magic.

26. Buy a king size bed the first time you buy a nice bed. Eventually you will want a king size bed and it will be very expensive to upgrade later on after you’ve already purchased lots of queen sized linen sheet sets.

27. You will never regret traveling.

28. You will never regret time spent in nature.

29. A lot of physical problems can be solved by addressing emotional problems.

30. The body is so wise. It gives us signals constantly telling us what we need to pay attention to. Listen.

31. There is no perfect workout or movement regimen. Our bodies change daily, and the best thing we can do for our body is to adapt to it’s current movement needs. Forcing yourself to stick to a particular form of exercise when it does not serve the moment you are in causes more harm than good.

32. You are usually your own solution.

33. Paying attention is one of the best ways to express love.

34. Airline miles are your friend! Work that system and let it take you around the world.

35. Wear natural fibers as much as possible. You’ll feel so much better in them.

36. You won’t be for everybody and that is okay.

37. Just because you can “make it work” doesn't mean that you should.

39. Say the thing that’s difficult to say. Avoidance is not the answer.

40. A good relationship requires an investment of time, love, attention, patience and energy. To maintain a good romantic relationship you must nurture it daily.

41. The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.

42. Delegate as much as you possibly can. You’ll be able to do so much more when you don’t do everything on your own.

43. Make joy a priority.

xoxo

Karen

(image by Tai Nguyen)

Y’all, I am SO EXCITED to share the news with you that MY ONLINE SHOP IS HERE! Prints, Pottery and a Gift Card Set that I made using my Holga images are all available for sale.

This shop has been labor of love in every way. Each ceramic piece was handcrafted by me in my backyard studio, the prints are of photographs that make my heart sing, and the card set was created after I ran many rolls of film though my Holga camera.

I hope that you will click on the links below and take a virtual stroll though all of my creative offerings. My heart and soul are fully wrapped up in every item, and I really can’t wait to share these creations with you.

As a holiday gift from me to you, everything is 10% off for the month of December! Card Sets and Ceramics are automatically discounted, but use code HOLIDAYCHEER to take 10% off in my print shop. Portland folks, you can also use code PORTLAND to eliminate shipping costs on ceramics and cards, and instead pick them at my studio in inner NE Portland.

Holga Film Art Card Set

Handcrafted Ceramics

Print Shop

This is just the beginning. I plan to nurture and expand my artistic offerings in the months and years ahead. In the future, I will be sharing shop updates in three rounds. First to paid subscribers of Between Us., then to all subscribers, and finally to my social community at large. To have first access to shop updates, you can join as a paid subscriber to Between Us.

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Two more fun things (or 44 more, depending upon how you look at it) -

First, did you know that my boyfriend Phillip-Michael Scales has his own signature coffee blend called Troubled Water? I drink this coffee often and can attest to it’s full-bodied deliciousness! It could be just the perfect gift, on its own or in addition to one of my mugs :)

Troubled Water Coffee

Secondly, I turned 43 yesterday! 43 feels like a nice, soft number to me, and I have a feeling that it just may be my best year yet!

In no particular order, here are 43 lessons that I have learned in 43 years. (Whenever I say you in this list, I’m talking to me.)

1. Don’t take things personally. Very rarely does someone’s poor attitude or offbeat remark have much to do with you.

2. Don’t make assumptions.

3. Expectations lead to disappointment. Allow the moment to naturally unfold without expectation and you will avoid disappointment.

4. A long walk will solve most problems.

5. The trees, mountains and oceans are all problem solving goddesses. Go to them. They will help you find the answers that already exist within you.

6. Kindness is the most important quality in a partner.

7. There is no substitute for sleep. Prioritize it.

8. For the most part, you can make your own rules. Just because something is usually done a certain way does not mean that it is the best way for you.

9. It is more than okay to change.

10. Not all friendships are meant to last forever.

11. Ill fitting shoes will fuck up your feet. Our feet should not hurt in shoes!

12. Wear merino wool underwear on long flights.

13. There is no perfect diet. Every body is different, and our bodies change over time. Learning to listen to the current needs of your body is one of the best things we can do for our health.

14. Movement is medicine.

15. Deal with family issues early on or you will work them out in bad relationships and that’s gonna suck.

16. It is okay to wash your hair every day.

17. Yes, you should wear sunscreen on your face every day.

18. Nobody is thinking about you anywhere near as much as they are thinking about themselves.

19. Be yourself. Be yourself. Be yourself. Be yourself. Be yourself.

20. Just because you are bendy enough to put your toes on your shoulders in your 20s and early 30s doesn’t mean you should. It will fuck up your back for the rest of your life.

21. Start an investment account very early in life. Even if you can only invest $25 a month, do it. Your future self will thank you.

22. It is a beautiful thing to have friends of varying ages. Older and younger.

23. Every day is a new beginning.

24. Every day is all we have. Now is all we have. The future does not yet exist.

25. The little things are the big things. Be unapologetically enthused! This world is full of magic.

26. Buy a king size bed the first time you buy a nice bed. Eventually you will want a king size bed and it will be very expensive to upgrade later on after you’ve already purchased lots of queen sized linen sheet sets.

27. You will never regret traveling.

28. You will never regret time spent in nature.

29. A lot of physical problems can be solved by addressing emotional problems.

30. The body is so wise. It gives us signals constantly telling us what we need to pay attention to. Listen.

31. There is no perfect workout or movement regimen. Our bodies change daily, and the best thing we can do for our body is to adapt to it’s current movement needs. Forcing yourself to stick to a particular form of exercise when it does not serve the moment you are in causes more harm than good.

32. You are usually your own solution.

33. Paying attention is one of the best ways to express love.

34. Airline miles are your friend! Work that system and let it take you around the world.

35. Wear natural fibers as much as possible. You’ll feel so much better in them.

36. You won’t be for everybody and that is okay.

37. Just because you can “make it work” doesn't mean that you should.

39. Say the thing that’s difficult to say. Avoidance is not the answer.

40. A good relationship requires an investment of time, love, attention, patience and energy. To maintain a good romantic relationship you must nurture it daily.

41. The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.

42. Delegate as much as you possibly can. You’ll be able to do so much more when you don’t do everything on your own.

43. Make joy a priority.

I would love to hear which lesson resonates the most with you. Let’s chat about it in the comments.

Leave a comment

That’s it for today. Thank you so much for supporting small businesses and artists, and thank you for sharing your time with me.

With gratitude,

Karen

xoxo

As I begin to type this newsletter, we have known the results of the presidential election for 48 hours. Those results have left me devastated, frightened, anxious and full of rage. That rage is boiling inside of me, surging through my veins at a vicious pace, and I find myself coming face to face with this red-hot anger, trying to figure out both how to move through it and how use it for good.

When I get angry, I get motivated. My boiling blood is a fuel that needs to be burned. Yesterday I rage-cleaned my house, readied my yard for the winter season, finished editing a beautiful family gallery which reminded me that love IS still abundant and alive, and then I went to a dance workout class where I let the tears stream down my face as I expelled some of my white hot frustration through dancing with my entire body and soul. I found release in the music, and relief in the knowledge that here in Portland proper I am grieving alongside nearly everyone else. Today I fiercely love my blue, idealistic, nonconformist bubble with my whole goddamn heart, and I believe in Portland now more than ever.

A couple of weeks ago—though it now feels like a lifetime—I had the incredible experience of attending a Maggie Rogers concert. Maggie’s album, Surrender, was my anthem during the summer of 2022. Her songs lit a fire in me of raw passion and guttural truth (very similar to rage). I would scream Maggie’s lyrics on a daily basis while driving my car, windows down, feeling the music to such an extent that I almost scared myself. You see, I have an overwhelming degree of passion in this body of mine. Even though my natural state of navigating the world is rather calm, quiet and even sometimes stoic, there remains a volcano of feelings in me, and on my best days I am able to channel my emotional, passionate eruptions into art, physical movement, the birthing of businesses, fighting injustice, expressive love and fervent curiosity. As I let Maggie’s songs course through my veins at her concert, I was struck by how fucking aligned I felt in that moment and by just how close Maggie exists to her art. 

I witnessed Maggie LIVING her art. Her body nearly convulsed with the expression of her songs. She told the truth all night long with her voice and her body. What I witnessed was real, raw, vulnerable, passionate as hell and fun. I left that concert more inspired than ever to model my way of creation after Maggie’s. 

Last month, I told you about the alignment and utter freedom that I felt while in the company of artists in Joshua Tree. This month, I watched a woman confidently share her songs, and in both of those scenarios I saw who I could be reflected back to me. I too can live as close to the art as humanly possible.

From here on out, I vow to myself to move closer and closer to the art, and to work on removing all of the bullshit that lives between me and the art. I vow to show up more honestly and more fueled up than ever. I vow not to make myself palatable just to be easier for others to digest. I also vow to stand up for the marginalized and to fight for what is just. 

Election rage and artistic passion are fueling me to create. If this resonates, join me. We need artists now more than ever.

Between Us is a space to create, live, and express authentically. I’d love to hear how you’re bringing creativity into your life right now—whether in the comments, by email, or by joining as a paid subscriber, a space I’ll be nurturing in the coming months.

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On a lighter note, I really like nice things. Also, I am good gift giver, self proclaimed and so I’ve been told. Here I present to you my first gift guide, along with a little nudge, nudge to please shop small as much as possible. Your dollars in the hands of makers and local businesses really do make a huge difference.

1. Le Bonne Socks. These socks are my absolute favorite! At $14 a pop they are a little pricey to buy for oneself, but I think they make an excellent gift. You can often find Le Bonne Socks at your local boutiques. (The Boyfriend Sock is my personal fav.)

2. A Good Knife. When I owned restaurants I used to buy the managers a Chef’s Knife at the holidays. I am a fan of a Japanese style blade, but a robust, German style blade is easier to maintain. I suggest you make a stop at your local knife store.

3. Bolga Basket. I use mine alllll the time, from the farmer’s market to road trips. These baskets are useful and durable.

4. Good Salt & Good Olive Oil. You could stop at your local speciality food market to choose your own adventure, or order The Essential Pantry bundle from my favorite market, Providore Fine Foods.

5. Bose Soundlink Micro Speaker. My little speaker is one of the most used items in my house. I carry if from my desk to my pottery studio almost daily, then toss it in my suitcase whenever I take a trip.

6. A late winter trip to Sicily! Hey, it’s my gift guide and this is at the tippy top of my personal wish list. Prices are best in the off season, and there are less tourists.

7. A box of high end chocolate bars. A safe bet, a delicious gift.

8. Pizza Chili Crunch from The Flavor Society. I happened upon this chili crisp by accident but now I need it in my fridge at all times!

9. A trio of sparkling wine. Rarely do I meet a person who doesn’t like a glass of bubbly. Sparkling wine always feels festive and celebratory. I suggest that you visit a wine shop and pick up 3 different bottles, but for those looking to shop online, I bet that this trio from Dry Farm Wines is delicious.

10. A jar of homemade granola. Inexpensive, thoughtful, easy and always appreciated, homemade granola is forever a win in my book. This recipe is a favorite of mine.

11. Homemade dish towels! How cute are these?! Plus making them looks like a therapeutic experience, and I for one need to partake in some calming activities right now. Maybe you do too.

12. Store bought gift towels. Obviously my gift guide is pretty kitchen centric because cooking is a huge part of my life, but I think that everyone likes nice kitchen towels. Check out your local housewares boutiques, or order up a couple of these cuties.

13. Kodak Socks for the photographer in your life.

14. I rage ordered this shirt the day after election day. Paired with a colorful sequin blazer and a taffeta skirt, I think that it’s the perfect outfit for Christmas day with my Republican family. Maybe it is also the perfect gift for the pissed off woman on your holiday list.

15. A trio of delicious coffee beans. I love how Proud Mary describes their coffee beans as either Mild, Curious or Wild, and I think that one bag of each would make for a really great gift.

16. Tickets to see Zach Bryan at the Moda Center in Portland on Nov 26th or 27th. You have no idea how badly I want to go to this concert, but I will be in France (cry me a river, I know). I also know lots of other people who want to attend this show, but the ticket price is steep. Could be a good gift for the right person!

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One last note for those of you that are last minute shoppers, who really like to shop small and who are interested in gifting some Karen Pride creations — stay tuned for an update in early December. I have been hard at work on a batch of ceramics plus a couple of other photography products that I am excited to introduce! Coming soon…

As always, thank you for reading, for leaning into creativity and for caring enough to consider your footprint in the world. I believe that you all do.

To my fellow Kamala supporters, I feel your pain, grief and rage. We are in this together and we will never stop fighting and creating. Hate will not win in the end.

With love,

xoxo

PART I

I am writing to you from airplanes and airports, on my way home to Portland from Joshua Tree, on a mission to distill into words my recent desert experience. I am moving north today with an intention to carry forth the alignment and utter freedom that I felt while in California. I am also here with a hope to share the bright, honest aliveness of my past few days in conjunction with a dark, equally honest aliveness that I experienced over the summer. The words currently existing in me all marry creation and death. Duality. The gemini that exists in all of us, whether the stars say so or not. 

Joshua Tree is a place that I return to year after year, but this time around I have Yan Palmer and Ryan Muirhead to thank for my October pilgrimage. If you do not already know Yan and Ryan, I think that you should, so let me introduce you. 

Yan Palmer. I have obsessed over her art for years now. Yan’s film photographs move me in an earthquake meets heaven kind of way. Her images shake my soul, pull me to the roots of the earth, and then bounce me back up until I am as close as can be to floating. She lets me float, ALMOST, for there always remains an unbreakable string leading to the depths. Her work leaves me suspended. I find Yan’s photographs to be nearly transcendent. Nearly. And it is in that almost and nearly part where I feel the ache, a hurt wrapped in beauty. I suppose that is a wordy way of telling you that Yan’s images make me FEEL, and that they are wildly beautiful to digest. On top of being a photographer, Yan is a gifted teacher, writer, speaker and a really fun person to get all deep with during a long, late into the evening conversation.

Ryan Muirhead. In Ryan I found a friend and an artist who goes to the darkest place in the day to find the light within it. Wherever that sliver, that bounce of light in a sea of grey resides, there you will find Ryan making something raw and real. Ryan’s artwork, story and journey provided me with a permission that I did not know I had been looking for, and that I had not yet been able to give myself. How that will unfold in my work remains to be seen, but I know that I have been changed for the better. I also found out that Ryan has spent many nights in the house that I now call my home, and I can’t wait to welcome him back. 

The rest of the attendees - Jaime, Jennifer, Klayne, Lexi, Rachael and Tai, plus our Art House host Richelle Rich - brought the fuel. Yan and Ryan were the match and the container, and everyone else was there to burn. Typically I am the first person to run away from a group activity if I am expected to be a participant, but this week in Joshua Tree was different. The puzzle piece that is me - it fit with these people. Real, true, authentic, weird ME, I could be. We all had so much space for each other, and in that space I think that we all probably felt very free. 

I could go on and on. Maybe this newsletter should come out twice a month to better house my musings, but for now I will conclude with saying that if you resonate then I recommend checking out all of these artists. They are real, true, messy in the best way, inspiring human beings. 

iphone snap of Ryan, Richelle and Jaime at The Art House.

PART II

In keeping with real and raw, with giving you the truth, I present to you the darker side of summer 2024.

From June thru mid August I was pregnant with multiples, probably triplets, and then I was not. My story is common (aside from the triplet part), and it is brutally hard, but it is not often told. Today I want to tell it not only for me but for all of the women that go through such a thing. 

My partner and I have decided that we would like to have a baby. I am 42, coming up on 43, so time is of the essence. In early June, for the first time in my life, we gave this get pregnant idea a real shot, and to our surprise, I become pregnant! That’s how it works, yeah, but we weren’t really expecting it.

I spent June and July being a pregnant person who was dead tired and always hungry with too tight pants. At the end of July I went to see my Midwife to get a glimpse of who was growing in my belly. At that appointment I learned that multiple littles had taken root, but that things did not look good unless, by some off chance, I had become pregnant later then I believed the conception date to be. I left that appointment knowing that chances were slim of a viable pregnancy, but there was also some CRAZY possibility that I could give birth to approximately three babies. 

So, I went on home and remained pregnant with what I referred to as maybe babies. My boobs were still sore and my pants didn’t fit, but the future was very unknown.

One week later I had some bleeding but it stopped and I was told that “bleeding is normal and everything is probably fine”. 

Two days after that I bled again, a little more with a little cramping. I was certain that I was having a miscarriage but the medical team told me to hold out home that maybe one of the babies survived.

The following night I had a miscarriage from about 12am-4am. It was probably the worst night of my life. 

For the following five days I continued to bleed and have bouts of knock-you-on-your-ass cramps in the evenings. 

On August 14th I had a long, intense, internal ultrasound (they were inside me for a solid 15 minutes, no exaggeration) to determine if everything was fine.

On August 15th I learned that everything was not fine. My miscarriage was only a partial miscarriage and I still had two gestational sacs inside of me. Also, the bleeding had picked up to the point that it was scary. An abortion, also known as a D&C or Dilation & Curettage was scheduled for the following morning. That day my bleeding increased to the point that I was anemic, light headed and unable to even drive myself to the store to buy products to deal with the amount of blood that was leaving my body. I eventually asked a friend to drive me to the ER. 

On August 16th that same friend came with me to the abortion. She sat with me while I endured the most painful experience of my life, watching my uterus be scraped and emptied as I did my best to breath through the pain. When it was all over I was high on who knows what and we stopped for lattes on the way home. My friends were incredible while watching over me and making sure that I had everything I needed, and throughout it all my partner did everything he could from afar to take amazing care of me.

It took about five more weeks for my hormones to level out. After the D&C I was left with weepy eyes, a sad heart, a lot of hormonal grumpiness and an extra five pounds. Everything aside from those five pounds has since returned to normal.

I am telling you all of this for two reasons. 

1) So many women experience this, and since I am comfortable talking about it I think that I can be a voice for them. To those who have had this experience, or will, I see you. You are not alone. It fucking sucks, it’s confusing and unfair. I hate that anyone has endured this experience.

2) Politics. This is REAL. If I did not live in a state that offered the health care I needed I really don’t know what would have happened. Maybe I would have bled to death. Maybe I would have had to take a flight to a state that could provide the healthcare I needed at a time when I couldn’t even fathom driving two miles to the grocery store, hoping that I didn’t drip blood on that store’s floor while tying to buy super pads. On top of that, I would have needed someone to go with me! That is messed up. It is wrong. We can not send women to another state for care, especially when they are in a crisis. We also can’t be turning them away until they are either dead or on death’s door. My abortion in August was for a pregnancy that I wanted, and it was a life saving procedure. Friends, readers, please, please, please VOTE. We need you. Look, this country and the world is mess, but only one candidate offers some degree of compassion and hope. Please feel free to use my story, my name, my photo when talking to your family or whomever about voting. Prior to my experience I did not know that a miscarriage procedure was an abortion, and a lot of my friends and family did not know this either. As Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.” Knowledge really is power. 

To wrap up this portion of the newsletter, I want you to know that I am okay. I feel quite good now. Back to normal but with a learning experience under my belt. I am so thankful to every medical professional who aided me, to my loving partner, my friends, and my counselor for holding my hand though that painful time. 

This is life. All of it. We really do contain multitudes. 

Image from June, 2024.

September I drove out to the Oregon Coast to make images with Audra Carmine. Audra had put together a Pinterest board full of sun drenched, shadow play inspiration that we were both excited to create from. Mother Nature had different plans though, deciding to gift us with bright fog and mist, no streaks of sun beams in sight. Yet from the haze, Audra and I created our favorite body of work yet (this is our 3rd time working together). Dreamy images that toyed with gravity emerged. In these photos I also see myself, learning to lean into my hard earned comfort behind the camera, while stretching myself to grow. I see myself emerging, taking steps towards the photographer that I will someday be. Ever changing, I appreciate the artist that is and I know that she is planting the seeds for all that is to come. Along the life long path, work that I am proud of is taking shape.

What’s ahead?

We have 20 days left in October to catch that tender fall light with bright, crunchy leaves above and below. Send me a message if you’d like to squeeze in a fall session.

2025 is coming up fast. I am booking maternity, family, newborn, couples, portraits, BTS, tour photography, weddings and elopements for next year. Now is a great time to secure your desired shoot date in my calendar. All future bookings simply require a 25% deposit to reserve your desired date. Payment plans are available upon request. Inquire here.

My upcoming travel schedule.

October - December / OREGON. I am mostly home in Portland through the end of 2024.

Nov 20 - Dec 3 / PARIS. Meet me there? Travel fees are waived.

January - February / NASHVILLE. In an effort to build my Nashville cliental, all Jan & Feb Nashville sessions are $100 off.

2025 / ANYWHERE. Really. Let’s go!

Let's Connect!

A few fun links to some of my new favorite things -

Have you all heard of Nuuly? A few of my friends were raving about this clothing rental site so I gave it a go. Verdit: YES.

This red sweater is on constant rotation in my closet. I love its thick weave and bright pop of color.

Watching - One Day. Do you lean into shows that lead to an all out sob fest, like I do? Oof, this one hits. Get the tissues ready.

After finishing One Day, I started watching Ginny & Georgia per the recommendation of my best friend. This comedy-drama is light hearted enough to be fun, but the story line cuts below the surface to provide the depth I need to keep coming back for more.

Listening - Esther Perel’s interview with Miranda July stayed on my mind long after the conversation was over.

I am also listening to my boyfriend’s new single, Lonely Road. It came out today. I couldn’t be more proud.

(Image taken in Joshua Tree, by Jennifer at Baby Viking Photography.)

That’s it for now. Thank you for reading. May the days ahead be filled with inspiration and wonder.

Until next time,

xoxo

(Film image by Ashley at Alacrity Photography.)

Thank you for being here. Thank you for opening up this letter of love, diving in, and going on this monthly-ish walk with me. I appreciate you!

Today I want to share with you a recent interview that I did with Canvas Rebel. Their journal prompt like questions really made me think, so thought that you might like to read the interview here in my newsletter. Without future ado…

CANVAS REBEL: Karen, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.

KAREN: I come from a very small town in Southwest Michigan where the course of life is clearly laid out for little girls. We are told to be good, look cute, be nice, find a decent man to marry, have some babies, be a good wife, a good cook, a good mother. Normal, consistent, achingly good, and god loving are really all that is required to be awarded with a seal of approval by the townspeople and the church.

For 18 years I did a fairly decent job of following the good girl, small town guidelines. Then I went to college. Quickly, my course in life shifted to one that honored my personal truths. I began to learn who I was, and pushed back on all that was expected of me. I shook my head NO at good girl approval, and instead took one intuition guided risk after another, leading me to become a well known health food restaurateur, yoga studio owner, photographer and all-around creative in the place that became my home, Portland, Oregon.

There was the risk to go against nearly every piece of advice that everyone in Michigan gave me. The risk to forge my own up-hill path that led to the life that I envisioned. The risk to study culinary arts, photography and eastern philosophy, along with the risk to sell most of my possessions and move to Portland immediately after turning 23 years old. There was the risk of writing business plans that I didn’t know how to write and then hopping on my bicycle to visit every possibly rich person I had ever met in Portland to ask them to loan me money for my dream restaurant. There was the risk to use every dollar I possessed to open my food cart at the age of 27, and then my first cafe at the age of 28. The risk to borrow $200k from a very kind woman and buy a yoga studio when I was 30 years old. The risk to open a 2nd and 3rd restaurant and then sell them all in 2018. My next risk was traveling solo in a van for 1.5 years, followed by shutting down my yoga studio in 2020, buying my dream house and turning it into a rental property. Next I took a deep dive risk by starting my current photography business.

We didn’t even talk about the romantic risks of the heart, or the risks of taking off on travel adventures so big that they will change your whole life. The truth really is that the great stuff in life exists on the other side of fear. For some people, comfort and safety is what they need, what they crave, but for me a life that is too safe feels suffocating. I am not remarkable, I am just willing to take the risks required, over and over again, to eventually get to the life that I dream of.

CANVAS REBEL: Karen, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

KAREN: As a child and teenager I was always documenting my family, friends and romantic relationships with a camera. In college I studied photography for 18 months and fell head over heals in love with the art. I was shooting all black and white film, hand developing my film and printing everything in the darkroom. The entire process was fascinating to me.

I was very creative with my camera in college, mostly turning it on myself to take experimental, semi-nude, long exposure images. Photography was the tool that I used to explore my emotions and to see myself at greater depths.

I took some time away from photography to pursue a career in the restaurant industry, but when I returned to the art of imagery I found that those same passions boiled up to the surface. Emotion, expression and overall aliveness are the components of imagery that give me goosebumps, therefore that is what I attempt to create. The difference now is that I have an additional interest and understanding in the process by which I am able get my subjects to expose their true selves. My camera is only turned on others once I have taken the time to get to know their depths, which I then attempt to translate into imagery.

I am proud of my ability to connect with my clients; to create a space safe and comfortable enough that they allow themselves to unravel while in front of my camera. Over time I have developed skills that aid in putting my clients at ease, but above all I am able to get my subjects to drop the presentation and show me their true self because I have done the ongoing personal work to break down my own walls. The client sees the real me, feels safe, and then allows me to see them. I am proud of the relentless personal work that I continuously do in an effort to show up in the world as my true self.

CANVAS REBEL: Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

KAREN: The lesson that I had to unlearn is this: Art should be made with others in mind. The viewer decides what is worthy.

That is WRONG. Terribly, horribly, deadly wrong. We must all make the art that gives US shivers, goose bumps, feelings. I don’t even care what the feeling is, I just want to know “Does your art make you feel?”. If your art makes you feel, then it is has value to you and that is all that matters. Not everyone will understand your art and that is ideal. They shouldn’t all understand it. Not every piece of art is for everyone. You, the artist, are not for everyone. Listen to your heart, your intuition, your shivers, and I promise that the thing that makes you feel so goddamn alive that you’re basically in another dimension will speak volumes to others as well. Your art will not speak to everyone, maybe not even the masses, but it will speak to the people that you need it to. You will find YOUR audience by being yourself.

I learned that lesson by attempting to people please and then failing to please both myself and others. It takes some time to learn the lesson, because we often make work that is pretty and liked, but that work is lacking in profoundness. Being liked is different from being magnetic. F*ck being merely liked; aim to be magnetic. You become magnetic by being unabashedly yourself.

CANVAS REBEL: For you, what’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative?

The most rewarding aspect of being an artist is freedom. I am free to make my own timeline, live where I chose to live, work with who I chose to work with, take a new direction whenever I feel like it, and best of all, I am free to be weird. People expect artists to be weird, because we are! It is so richly wonderful to be free from the constraints of normality. I could choose to sell my house, move to a tiny island somewhere in the world, adopt two llamas and decide that I am now a painter of insects and billygoats and my friends would be like “strange, but seems like a thing Karen would do.” The longer you live as a free, weird person the more people expect that of you. You get to be an enigma. It can be a long, uphill battle for some people to accept you as such (it was for me) but the journey is ripe with experience and the reward is divine.

The five images above are from a wedding that I photographed in late July. The bride and groom invited their closest friends up to their family’s cabin in the Puget Sound. Shortly after I arrived, late morning on their wedding day, everyone went on a beach walk and then there were beach games (pictured above). The laughter was expansive, uncontrollable, long lasting and utterly delightful as everyone gave their ALL to the beach games.

I was so excited to deliver this gallery. I am thrilled at the idea of the people pictured above gathering again 10 years down the road, life under their belt, maybe children at their feet. I can picture them thumbing through the photo album, reminiscing on their years of deep friendship, telling stories late into the night while sipping whisky, their sleepy, gently aging faces plastered with smiles as they look back on the joy of Claire and Daniel’s wedding day.

It is my passion to capture your memories, document your beautiful stories, and help you fill your photo albums with moments that will be cherished and poured over for generations to come.

Shall we work together?

I have some availability remaining in 2024, and I am booking all types of sessions for 2025 (maternity, family, newborn, couples, portraits, BTS, tour photography, weddings and elopements). All future bookings simply require a 25% deposit to secure your desired date. Payment plans are available upon request. Inquire here.

My upcoming travel schedule.

September - December / OREGON. I am mostly home in Portland through the end of 2024.

September 30th / JOSHUA TREE

Nov 28 - Dec 10 / PARIS

January - February / NASHVILLE

2025 / Anywhere. Let’s go!

Who wants a session in Paris? Maybe an elopement? I will already be there so travel fees are waived. Can you even imagine how magical a Paris elopement would be??!

Let's Connect!

Asking for help is insanely difficult for me, but I am growing, I am learning, and I could use a favor. If I have photographed you professionally in the past 3 or so years, would you be willing to leave me a review on google? Being a self-employed creative is hard, but it gets a little easier the more my name is on the internet which allows search engines (and actual humans) to find me. If you can spare a couple of minutes to write me a mini review it would mean the world to me.

Thank you.

Take me to the review page.

A few fun links to some of my new favorite things -

My new favorite mascara. It lengthens. It doesn’t clump. It washes off with soap, water and an easy wipe of a washcloth. What else could we ask for?

I slather Fatco Baby Butta all over my hands before going to bed. (On my best days I put it on my feet too.) I also carry their Baby Fat Stick everywhere to keep my lips silky smooth. It’s not just for babies.

Life changing olive oil. Pour this on good bread, sprinkle the best salt on top, and you’ll be happy. If you were grumpy you’ll now be happy. See, it is life changing. Portland people, you can pick this up at Providore Fine Foods.

I take this all leather, very well priced, handmade, cross body pack everywhere. One of my best purchases of the year.

Cute, sumptuous socks to stock up on for both yourself and gift giving.

While it’s an unpopular opinion in the PNW, I think that sport sandals are ugly. Nevertheless, at 42, I have come around to the fact that they are both useful and make my feet happy. Enter Teva’s Universal Slim sandal in Tiger’s Eye. This is as classy as they come, and I must admit, I like them.

I recently upleveled our living room with this lamp.

Watching - The movie The Idea of You. I love a love story. This one pulled me in while also pissing me off because society has different rules for men than they do for women. Romantic yet provocative.

Reading - Something to Declare by Julia Alvarez. A beautiful book of essay.

Also, I recently listened to Miranda July’s book All Fours, which was a real trip in a cooky but captivating way. While I am still unsure if I actually liked All Fours, I am 100% sure that made it an impact, causing me to think and converse about the book with friends, which I appreciate.

(Image by Ashley at Alacrity Photography.)

That’s it for now, friends.

Until next time,

xoxo

(Image by Connie Suarez Bravo)

Thankfully, I have been pretty firmly planted in who I am for the past few years. 2020-2021 is the last time I forgot, but I dare say that most of us forgot then. A collective forgetting and then a collective brilliant remembering (re-discovery?) in 2023-ish. That was delightful. 

Here I am now, very early August of 2024. The years keep on passing, which puts me solidly in my 40s, crafting a life, day by day. 

Even though I have known who I am in this ever-changing, crafted life, I have spent the past couple of years asking myself “WHAT AM I DOING???”. I have been everywhere (not here as it has been 6 months since my last newsletter) but it feels like I have been everywhere else. Answering the question of where I live is a little tricky, as is the question of what I do. I am pretty sure that my answer to “What are your plans for the future?” confuses most people. 

I have a few small answers for you and then one big, all-encompassing answer.

Let’s go one by one. 

• I live in Portland, Nashville, and wherever else in the world I happen to be. One of my homes has always been the road, but this is now more true than ever. I pick up jobs all over the place and I meet my boyfriend all over the place. My suitcase is a rolling house storage unit.

• For work, I am a photographer, ceramicist, landlord, interior designer, production assistant and whatever else you’d like to hire me to do. Primarily I am a photographer and the owner of a rental property.

• My plan for the future is to live a joyful, nourished, full, meaningful and healthy life. I want to live at least part-time on the West Coast. The rest will work itself out.

Are you ready for the big, all-encompassing answer now? Here it is: I AM LIVING

It took me some time to get to that answer, but now it makes perfect sense and it has set me free. As much as I despise being put into any type of box, there I was trying to figure out what type of box to put myself in. Then the aha moment, the remembering! There is no box. There’s only an ever-changing, magical, sometimes challenging but never boring life. There is LIVING. 

Living freely, lovingly, intentionally yet also whimsically. Truthfully, living in this way that I am doing it can be tiring and confusing, but mostly it is quite wonderful and fulfilling. As my life has become more and more unconventional, I find that it is easier to let go of other’s expectations. Simply, I often times can’t fulfill them without running myself into the ground, and I am so over that. I am over anxiety, loads of stress, complaints, drama and the exhaustion that comes from saying yes too many times. 

You know what causes me a dumb amount of exhaustion, annoyance and leads me to feel like I am wasting my precious life? Social Fucking Media. The words themselves feel dark to me. I deeply miss life without phone attachment. 

Which leads me here. Year after year I ponder how to grow my business, how to develop and foster connections while sharing my work creations without all of the scrolling that eats at my soul. Well, this newsletter is hopefully my answer. 

Hi and welcome to Between Us! If you’ve somehow happened upon this internet love letter but are not yet subscribed, you can do that here:

Subscribe now

I want to fly into your inbox each month so that we can have a little buzzy connection moment. A free from the scroll connection. A rambling thought dump that hopefully gives more than it takes. Yeah, yeah, I will still post on Instagram sometimes as it’s how I get my work out there (and it’s not all negative), but maybe our deepest connections can happen here?

This is me, committing to show up, to share, to put down my damn phone.

Thank you for meeting me here.

Since we last spoke, I am thrilled to report that I have launched a new website! I am also building out a Pinterest page. My photoshoots have been plentiful and fulfilling. Thank you to every single person who has ever trusted me to capture your memories. I am eternally grateful.

Fall is my busiest work season, therefore if you are thinking of booking a photo session between August and early November, now is the time! I can’t stress this enough. Editing can take up to 4 weeks, so if you’d like new images for a holiday card or you are simply ready to document this season of life, let’s get you on the books by the end of October. 

Here is my upcoming travel schedule.

Aug - Sept 9 / Oregon

September 12-22 / Nashville

Sept 24-28 / Oregon

Sept 30 / Joshua Tree

Oct 5-29 / Oregon

Nov 4-23 / Nashville

(I will be on holiday break from November 24th - January 2nd.)

Also, I am currently booking weddings for summer 2025 and beyond (or late 2024 if you’re a last-minute person - last-minute people, I see you and I love you!). Small, intimate weddings and elopements are my jam. You can read more about my wedding photography style here.

Let's Connect!

A few fun links to some of my favorite things -

While walking around Point Reys, CA the other day in this dress, in the color Blue Floral, I received no less than 6 compliments. It’s flattering and pretty, with pockets! (I also own the black with polka dot version which is perfect for photographing weddings.)

Also while in Point Reyes I picked up this unique, super soft sweater in burnt orange. The color and shape is so fun, and somehow it is only $39!

Since I frequently live life on the road, I am always looking for the best travel everything. The Purist travel mug beats out every travel mug that I have ever owned. It is perfect. 

I never go anywhere without this anti-itch bug bite gel. Might there be mosquitos? This stuff will save your sanity. Trust me.

The very best Vitamin C Serum. I am on my second bottle. 

I just ordered three tubes of Beauty of Joseon’s luscious, well-priced facial sunscreen. Never do I ever want to run out again. If you despise the feel of sunscreen (like I did) give this a shot.

Saie’s tinted moisturizer is my new go-to. So creamy and light. 

A rosy cheek can’t be beat. Been getting my rosy on with Haus Lab’s wonderful blush stick in Glassy Rosette. 

Watching - The powerful, emotional, heartbreaking and educational movie, Origin. Based on Pulitzer Prize winner Isabel Wilkerson's non-fiction book, "Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents." Origin examines racism in America as an aspect of a caste system.

Reading - Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi. This exquisite and captivating novel spans eight generations, following the parallel path of two half-sisters and their descendants. Born into two different villages in Ghana in the eighteenth century, one sister is sold into slavery and the other marries an Englishman. The often tragic story unfolds from there.

A note about the paid subscriber option -

I choose to enable paid subscribers because I put a lot of time and effort into these newsletters. Currently, Between Us is available to all, for free, but if you would like to contribute a monthly, yearly, or founding member subscription to help support my art, I welcome that. As time goes on I hope to build this newsletter into a more frequent and sustainable part of my business model, but I will take my time and keep you posted.

Lastly, I would love to know what you want to hear more about! Is it recipes, fashion, travel, photography, personal life, etc. The more detailed the better! Let me know!

Until next time,

xoxo